Hi! I’m Russ. I like long walks in the park and mud wrestling alligators while noodling catfish. Like my Momma always said, “Life is like a bag of Chernobyl manure. Sometimes it stinks, but if you spread it around, it sure makes the rosebuds glow.” Anyhoo, I’m told you guys would like to know me a little better, so buckle up, buttercup, this rides about to get wild. Unless it doesn’t. Then it will be boring, and we don’t want that. So buckle back up and let’s turn this puppy on high spin.
I was seeded on this planet a number of decades ago. I was well fertilized and spent a lot of time in the military. A whole lot of time. Like more time than I can remember. Long enough to do seven deployments to luxurious outposts overseas and then retire. Having done that, I said to my self, “Self, now what?” And the self answered, “Why don’t you do something fun?” And I said back to self, “Like what?” And self returned fire saying, “How the *&%^%$ do I know, pick something happy.” So off I went and followed my own advice. Hat in hand, graduate work in my sock, I went back to community college to get a degree in Jewelry Design and Creation (shameless plug for Austin Community College Jewelry Program). And had a blast. While I was there, I also spent my GI Bill on other fun courses like Metal Sculpture, Blacksmithing, Construction, Coppersmithing, Parapsychology, the Alien Agenda, Zymurgy, Pirate Life, Dungeons & Dragons for Treckies, and the Philosophy of the Francis.
While I was back in school, doing the old school, we decided to do some business. Fun business. We opened a booth at the local renaissance faire and started selling some of the fun, unique, handmade things we did. We specialized in aromatherapy (not my cup of essential oil...oh, I’m an avid user, but I’m not the expert nor blender person...that’s Katie), metal sculpture, and wearable sculpture. Do what they say, say what you mean, and baby, One thing leads to another… And so here we are learning ecommerce and on an adventure over the high seas. Yo ho ho and pirate’s life for me.
“Well, self, what else do they want to know?” And self answered, “But did Francis escape from his arch-frenemy, the Emperor?”
Of course he did. Francis waited until the Emperor’s back was turned and judo chopped him in the back of the neck. Unfortunately, Francis missed because...well, Francis. But the Emperor caught up with Francis quickly and put the fire to Francis’s steel, so to speak. And it was none too soon because Francis was about to…
Tune in next week boys and girls to find out what Francis was about to do and how the arch-frenemy Emperor saved the world. Same Francis channel, same Francis time.